Human beings are impatient by nature — speaking for myself (very much so). Drawn to instant gratification, allured by the future, and easily forgetful of the past and honestly, even the present.
Immediacy, please — And if possible, expedited at that too.
This month, I’ve attended my first two funerals celebrations of life, in all 30 years of being alive.
One of them being my grandmother. I’ve been struggling to find the right words to accurately convey how I feel.
Have you ever taken a nap that left you more confused, then alert than your previous state? You wake up needing additional time to reorient yourself.
Up until this month, I hadn’t given death too much thought. In a more expounded way, that’s what it feels like — I didn’t so much as take a nap, that nap took me, unexpectedly. Often times, life is circumstantial, forcing you to shift your perception and reorient. This time I’m waking up with the realization of the limited amount of time we have with the people in our lives. A thought that can be hindered by the day-to-day of innately operating in go mode, as we quite frankly, continue to make sense of the world and make something of ourselves.
Funerals are interesting — They aren’t around anymore. They don’t get to see all the people who love them so much, gathered around to share stories. We’re celebrating a life in the very moment we’re confronted with its end.
While I sit and type away into the quiet murmurs of the early a.m., slightly confused and disoriented by jet lag but guided by the soft dim glow of my laptop, I’m already missin’ & reminiscin’ the (as my brother put it), bustling night life of Asia.
Hate to bring a TikTok trend to my thoughts, but feeling “rich in life” because I’ve,
gone island hopping & had the best pad thai, coconut smoothies, & coffee of my life, while scoot scoot-ing around Thailand 🥥🏍️
partied at a rooftop bar with the most insane views, after grubbing on some $2 banh mis in Vietnam 🌴
and most importantly, while although short-lived, had unexpected time reuniting with family in Taiwan to celebrate the life of the most selfless and kind woman we’ve all ever known. Thank you for everything, and for bringing us all together again. I hope there’s endless bread wherever you are, and no men telling you what to do.
Love you, ah ma.