Glimmers (n): Moments of joy, peace, or connection derived from appreciating simple things.
Grass is always greener where you notice (and water) your glimmers.
I thought I’d have life somewhat figured out by now, at the soon-to-be ripe old age of 30, but as it turns out — Life doesn’t get any easier as you get older, you just learn to handle things with a little more humility.
Friendship break-ups still hurt as much as they did when you were younger, navigating adolescence and committing acts of rebellion, in an attempt to feel a sense of self and belonging. The corporate world remains somewhat the same at any level, with profit and politics at play, prioritized over people (evidently so). You realize that frankly enough, it’s your parents’ first time living too — So with that, you learn to form your own opinions of what’s “right” or “wrong,” what strong leadership looks like on a personal and professional level; and in doing so, you learn to build resilience, tolerance, wisdom, and understanding throughout the years.
Some things still feel oddly familiar, yet don’t quite fit as they used to, like a shoe that feels too tight, or a home that you’ve outgrown with time and age. Speaking of time — You’re a lot more stingier with your time, but generous with the depth and quality of it.
You still question things and other people, but no longer second guess yourself as much. Yet you find yourself wondering, damn, have I even changed all that much, through the years?
There is comfort in upholding a tradition, or tending to an everyday routine amidst the day-to-day volatility, riding the waves of unpredictability. Yet you find yourself staying true to the innate restlessness that drives your constant need for change, in a nagging, persistent search for more and better.
Maybe the people who really get it, the beauty, the grit, the absurdity of it all are the ones who struggle the most to be here. Maybe insight doesn’t always come with peace, knowledge and all the self work a person can do - and don’t we all love that these days? The idea of self work being the foundations of what makes a whole human?
I’m still trying to figure it out. In the meantime, I’ll try my best to work on building a heart of gratitude for all that I’ve learned, and all that I’ve yet to experience.